You are not alone...
"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about"
I wish there was a handbook to parenting, a handbook that you could refer back to every time You had a moment of uncertainty; which if I'm being honest is a lot. While I'm being honest I'll admit every single day im pretty much just "winging it" when it comes to parenting. I know there's at least a few of you that can relate to that, and I guess that simple fact is the whole reason there can never be a handbook that can give every single parent the exact answer they are looking for in their time of need. Simply put, ever child is different, meaning every resolution to a problem will be different.
My daughter is the one that often makes me question my abilities to be a parent. Now don't get me wrong, I'm by no means saying she's some sort of demon child (although I'm sure I've referred to her as that a few times...oopsies). She is a sweet, loving, caring and very emotional little girl. But she is also strong willed and headstrong, which I know are both amazing characteristics, but as a 3 year old with these attributes it often makes for a uncompromising little girl, who frequently has meltdowns.
Take the other day for example. We had an amazing day at our local corn maze, until "it" happened. I honestly couldn't tell you exactly what "it" was but it triggered something in my daughter which made for an embarrassing walk of shame through the crowds of people with my daughter in tow screaming bloody murder, kicking and screaming trying to get away from me. The 2 minute walk back to the vehicle seemed like it was 2 hours, as people stared at us as we passed by, probably trying to figure out if I was kidnapping her or not. I got slapped in the face twice and I'm certain everyone in the vehicle went deaf from her screaming the whole way home.
As a parent it's heartbreaking seeing your child go through such strong emotions that acting in such a way is their only way to express themselves. It's hard not to automatically start blaming yourself, which I often find myself doing. "She was such a calm sweet baby I must have gone wrong somewhere and made her like this" is a common thought that goes through my mind. My husband works out of town, so 75% of the time it's just the kids and I, which makes blaming myself for their misbehaviors very easy. It must be something I do, or how I deal with things that gets her so worked up, right?
WRONG!! It's taken me a long while to realize, and I don't think I fully do to this day, because I constantly have to remind myself ... it's not my fault.
She's only three, more often then not there's no rhyme or reason behind the way she acts. While other times I just have to step back and take into account everything that surrounds her, because any change at all, however big or small could potentially completely throw off the balance of things in her life. So much has changed for her this past year, she started school and other activities which she does all by herself (which until this year she basically has spent every day with me since I work from home), her daddy works out of town and she became a big sister. She's just adjusting, and dealing with her emotions, which sometimes means having an outburst or two ( or twenty). That doesn't mean Im doing anything wrong though. She's only human, a tiny little human with limited coping skills, and I mean I can barely deal with life changing issues as a adult so how can I expect her to deal with her issues with a level head as a three year old.
I guess the whole point of this post is to say to all you mamas out there, that have a less then easy child to deal with.... you're doing great, and it's not your fault, nor are you alone.