10 things Ive learned about having kids...
Parenting is basically a new lesson every day of your life for the rest of your life. My kids have taught me so much since Ive had them, and I have learned so much on my own about the trials and tribulations of parenting. So I’m here today to share some of the things I’ve learned up until now about parenting, some a little more serious then others, but truthful none the less. I hope you enjoy :)
1) privacy is a thing of the past, and you won’t get it back for the foreseeable future. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing you will never get to do it alone again.... and that includes all your number twos.
2) sleeping in is now considered 7 am (maybe 8:00 if you’re lucky). I remember before having kids I could sleep until noon, maybe I would get up to use the bathroom or get a small snack but I could basically stay in my bed all day and not feel bad about. Fast forward to present day, after a few years of waking up countless times during the night and early wake up calls at ungodly hours, and I’m up at 7am every day, whether my kids are with me or not.
3) showers will basically become a figment of your imagination. I used to shower almost everyday, and not quick in and out showers either. I’d be in there for at least 30 minutes, I wish I didn’t take those days for granted. Now and days I’m lucky to get to enjoy a 10 minute shower twice a week. My husband works out of town but I know this still holds true to most parents. Showering when your kids are up is a gamble, they could maybe give you 5 minutes of silence to rinse off but in most cases they will be standing there staring at you, screaming for you to get out. You’re only other option is showering when they are asleep, which is equally as risky and I promise you... you’ll spend most of your shower poking your head out listening for baby cause you’ll be certain you can hear them crying the whole time ( which they probably won’t be doing)
4) any child can almost certainly manage to take up the WHOLE entire bed.... it doesn’t matter what size you have. It actually amazes me that this tiny little being can manage to leave me hanging off the edge of my bed, one foot on the floor trying to keeping what small part of me is still on the bed up, basically getting beaten from all those little limbs flailing around.
5) one of the most important parts of being a parent is making sure you keep yourself happy and sane. When I had my daughter I insisted on spending basically every waking moment with her, I even started a career which allowed me to stay at home so I could be with her. I was uneasy about leaving her with people, so things like date nights, and girls night out were put on the back burner. I started to lose who I was before I had her, I had soley become a mother, and that was it. When my son was born I slowly started to learn that I had to focus on myself as well. I sometimes felt like I was a bad mom because I started giving myself “me” time and some time apart from my kids. But I realized that without that time for myself I was turning into this depressed, short tempered, unenergized version of myself, and I wasn’t the best I could be for them. I didn’t want my kids to see me so unhappy and think that was normal. So I started making nights out once a month, or even just going to spin class a few times a week. Even just those few hours to be the version of me that was more then just a mother made a world of difference, and now my kids get a happier, more energized mom, so I think it’s a win win situation.
6) friendships will change. This was a big lesson for me to come to terms with. I started having kids before most of friends, most of my friends to this day still don’t have children of their own yet. I never thought about how drastically having a kid would change my social life, so when I stopped getting invited places and was no longer included in girls night, it felt like a stab in the back. I know now none of it was ever intentional, it was just a case of being at different times of our lives. Some friends I lost, but when I look back at it, most of the people I lost touch with were what I would consider “party” friends, so naturally when I stopped partying there wasn’t really a reason to invite me out anymore. Other friends just made the assumption most people without kids make: “shes probably too tired to come out or too busy with kids stuff.” I took it personally at the time but now I’ve just accepted it. My number of friends may have dwindled a bit but the quality of friendships I have now is better then I could have ever asked for, and at my age that’s really what it’s about... quality over quantity.
7) your heart will never stop growing full of love for your children. I know this one seems pretty obvious. I mean of course you’re going to love them whole heartedly... they are your children of course. What I mean is that it will completely and utterly shock you just how much you love them. When I had my daughter I thought my heart was going to burst I felt so much love for her, I didn’t think it was possible to have anymore love to give. So when I was pregnant with my son I won’t lie a part of me worried that maybe I wouldn’t love him as much. Boy was I wrong. The second I gave birth to him my heart doubled in size, and it continues to grow every single day I get to call these 2 my own.
8) your brain will continuously start to play worst case scenarios in your head about EVERYTHING the second you have children. Suddenly every day tasks like walking down the street or taking a escalator start seeming like death traps!! That’s not to say you need to live in a bubble with your children wrapped in bubble wrap your whole life though. You just become way more cautious about the world around you because even the thought of something bad ever happening to them is enough to give you a heart attack.
9) absolutely any outing with your children has the potential to turn into the most embarrassing day of your life. Sure, we all would all like to pretend our kids are always on their best behavior and never have temper tantrums. Unfortunately (at least for me) I don’t live in that dream world and both my children are headstrong and stubborn. Just recently we went on a nice family outing, until sh*t hit the fan and something set my daughter off. I can’t tell you what that particular something was but it ultimately led to me carrying her through the crowd of people kicking, and screaming and slapping me, frantically trying to escape my arms. I’m honestly surprised I wasn’t approached by somebody thinking I was kidnapping her.
10) it’s absolutely , positively, 110% worth it. All the poopy diapers, sleepless nights, public tantrums... all of it is worth it just to be able to call them yours. Even after a long day of being pulled in every which direction, feeling exhausted and looking a mess my kids have the power to make me feel like a million bucks with nothing more then a smile. No one ever claimed it was a easy job, but it’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever had, and it’s a honor to have them call me their mommy.